She is everything to me but she doesn’t know it yet. Even before her birth, I have told stories to her, talked to her even before she started kicking me, and detested even the regular ultrasounds. “No, please don’t see her now she might be sleeping…” and made the doctor wait till she kicked again. I felt alive again when she was inside me, remember going for walks for her sake, drinking coconut water at the drop of the hat during morning sickness, and also remember missing my brother’s marriage as I was advised not to fly during that time. I used to make my pet dog friendly to the bump so that he is not caught unawares. Then one day I realize that I can no longer keep her inside me with my feet all swelled up telling me that the time has come to part with my most priced possession. Well that thought of showing her to the world was itself traumatic to me. This is the extent of over-protectiveness parents can have for their children.
But today when we had to send her to in-laws place for some days due to maid issues and the fact the I have started working again, I am realizing what it means to be parents. Even after making great plans to send her away for a few days, both me and my hubby can’t help calling them up every ten mins to ask how she is.
Though she is still three, she has to learn to survive in the big bad world, and the sooner she does it, the better. Not like her mom. The sooner she understands how to find her place in the sun, I guess it would be good for both of us. As parents, we can only guide her but she has to find her way on her own. I am not sure about the percentage of exposure to the outside environment, but every child should come out the protective shell once in a while to get a hang of life. Though I am finding it difficult to convince myself but alas we can’t live alone secluded from the outside world. We have to make all interactions as polite as possible.
As of now, my daughter is quite happy with my mother-in-law as she is very caring and i still don’t know whether she will miss me or not. I am not sure whether she is even aware of the fact that mumma papa are miles away from her but we are waiting to pack our bags and go there just in case she starts missing us. Keeping fingers crossed.