Should the age on consent be abolished?

[lizkempo]

Should the age on consent be abolished?

In my mind the answer to this question would be NO! And here are my reasons why:

I don’t know if any of you have been watching a recent programme on Channel 4 called “Adult at 14”, this is a series of documentaries in which they have interviewed 14 year olds across the country on this very subject. From this data channel 4 have also created several dramas based around this topic.

Last week I watched one of these dramas and it left me feeling quite disturbed, it was very hard core and very gritty. The story followed a 14 year old girl through her life at secondary school and the pressures she faced from fellow pupils (Mostly Female) to loose her virginity.

Some of the scenes in this drama were most upsetting, although unfortunately very realistic. The first scene shown that caused me much upset was this young innocent girl being forced to partake in oral sex with a male class mate as part of a dare. The children ( and I call them this because they are children) were at a party and a group of female bullies are harassing this one girl saying that she is “Fridged” and “Tight”, they dare her to get down on her knees and perform oral sex on a male class mate while they all stood watching. This poor girl through the fear of being bullied for the rest of her school days part takes in this act.

At school the next day the bullying continues, at lunch time the girls fill her glass of water with salt and taunt her about last nights goings on. She has not won their friendship at all. But it does not stop these girls persist in their torment and brag about the sex they have had with their adolescent boyfriends, they tell her they would not be friends with a virgin.

The mere fact that these children are talking about sex in such a childish, flippant manner only assures in my own mind that they are by far mature and responsible enough to be having sexual intercourse.

The drama goes on to revile the young victim go off with a 21 year old university student to loose her virginity, this boy is under the impression at the time that she is 17 years old. She tells him that it is her first time and he still does not question her age. They have sex together and afterwards he passes her a towel and says “We don’t want you to make a mess now do we”. This horrified me, the first time is not the nicest of experiences, unless you are very lucky, it is normally awkward and uncomfortable, but at 14 years old to have someone say that to you must be soul destroying.

The girl goes back to school and brags about her experiences to the other girls; they are impressed for a short while, but are more interested in whether she is seeing him again. At the age 14, girls tend to want a boyfriend; although this girl’s bragged about having sex what they really wanted was to be in a relationship.

The next scene in the drama proves how young children really are at 14 years old. The girl goes to the older boys house after school in her uniform, he opens the door and is immediately horrified at the fact she is so young, he tells her to get lost. At this point she brakes down and says that she loves him, and thought they would get married.

My heart went out to her, but these are childish ideals, to use the word “Love” about someone you hardly know and to assume they would get married is a very immature view.

To make matters worse the girl then finds out that the bullies have never had sex or come close to it, they were merely trying to act older than they were trying to sound impressive when really the very idea scared them.

I am 23 years old and when I think back to when I was 14 I remember thinking I was mature that I should be able to do what I wanted. But now that I am older and have experienced life a bit more I don’t think I would off been able to cope with it all.

At 14 you are still a child and you should feel pressured in to growing up so quickly, you also should not consent to something that you can not take full responsibility for. For example my cousin got pregnant at 15 years old, she had been having sex but did not take mature responsibility by using protection. Why? Because they were so young and unready that they didn’t think about it.
She decided to keep the baby and is now a brilliant mum, but she hasn’t been able to live out her dreams of going to collage or university, while all her mates were going clubbing for the first time, or celebrating adulthood at 18, she was old beyond her years a single mum with a child to look after!

In my opinion even 16 is too young, 18 I would say is a reasonable age. I know that it the age of consent will ever be hired, but certainly do not think it should be lowered.

[Aditi77_k]

The age of consent in my opinion is just a benchmark…I think if anyone takes a decision to be in a relationship, it is entirely that person’s responsibility. But it is easier said than done. Unfortunately, children who have just entered their teens are very inquisitive about sex and do not have proper knowledge about it. Also peer pressure plays a major role as the example by Lizkempo shows. And the heartbreak of a teenager after realizing that she has committed a blunder is disastrous for her well being. At a tender age when a person is looking for love and companionship and gets distrust and rejection, the situation is hard to cope. Thus my gutfeel is that age of consent should be highered and not lowered.

What u say?

[Editor]

The age for consent in my opinion is a superficial issue. The problem is much deep-rooted. I would say that proper education about sex is the key to these problems. Children should be made more aware by their parents about what is right and wrong from a very young age. If parents instill the right values then the child would be less likely to fall prey to such things. Also sex should not be treated as a taboo subject and its pros and cons should be understood once children enter their teens.

All this what I said may sound very idealistic and in reality what lizkempo said is quite true. The rejection in a relationship may cause tremendous depression and may also lead the person to drugs and alcohol…But again I would reiterate that awareness about the subject and the family support are the safety nets we can provide the innocent children.
Any comments?

[anshulseth]

Hi ppl,
Though the topic is pertinent, but has different connotations when seen in the light of different societies, or civilizations.
Most probably the writer is talking in context of the western society, which is more liberal when it comes to consent for having sex, or to do things tagged adult.
As in India, the age of consent or say to marry is far higher as being talked abt in the article.

But talking in the larger context, this age becomes irrelevent. It is just a entry pass from the society. The moral police can do nothing if there is a mutual consent for sex, and is done under closed doors.

What is required is awareness, as rightly replied by the editor, on sex or sex related issues. It should be a just another subject in schools and should be taught objectively. Though it can have adverse impacts, but a thing done with true determination does not go down the drain.
It requires society to open up, to talk more freely on sex, to let their children know about it at an earlier age, so as curiousity does not beget their misgivings.
At an early age it is curiosity, immaturity, peer pressure n lack of information that results in the incidents talked about.

And this is quite prevalent in every society, lest not the west.

So, my gutfeel is tht the attitude of society needs to be changed, their perception towards the topic needs a change, awareness needs to be brought in.

Talking of age is a sham, it will not have the desired effect. Those who wanna do it can't b stopped by such horrendous policies, these things can only end up on paper, but can never change the mindset, even if the age is increased to 30.

Asset

[Urbanangel]

As i was reading the article and the replies i wondered whether age of consent does play a major role in any society...on the face of it yes...every culture has preconcieved notions....but i agree that moral policing is not so easy...what is important is the change in attitude...Any comments?